Thursday, August 9, 2012

He llegado


To borrow poignant words from one of America’s greatest thinkers: “Since I wrote before, I know something more of the grounds of hope and fear of what is to come.  But if my knowledge is greater, so is my courage.  I know that I know next to nothing, but I know too that the amount of probabilities is vast, both in mind and in morals.”  Today, waiting in the Spirit lounge of the Miami airport (which already feels like I’m in Latin America), I am reminded of the last time I packed my life into a bag and decided to venture around the globe.  That day, waiting for a thunderstorm to pass over the Oklahoma City airport (which resembled nothing of Latin America), I was full of angst and anguish, anxiety and audacity, I couldn’t stop staring out the emblematic window of my heart to the rest of my future.  Today, I am an entirely different being than I was then.  Today, I am shockingly void of butterflies.  Today, I have waited patiently sans tears and sans sentimental stares out windows (emblematic or literal).  I don’t feel like I’m holding my breath for the next moment of my life, and that feels good.  Today, my knowledge is greater and so is my courage.  Today, I know that I know next to nothing, but I know too that the road ahead of me is full of opportunities for which I have the courage and knowledge to enjoy. 

There is something sweet about my moment right now, where my mind lays in this calm haze.  I take pleasure in knowing that this absence of fear, this ease of anguish based on a past of dreams of achieved, this moment is peculiar and unrivaled in all of the whole universe.  This is my emotion.  This is my life that I am living.  I am homesteading new ground, uninhabited ground, because it is new and uninhabited to me.

Again, borrowing from Emerson, I make one promise to myself (or three...): Be Silly, Be Honest, Be Kind :)

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